One RV traveler tells the story of her unimaginable loss and how FMCA played a role in helping her cope.
By Cynthia Sogomonian, F493704
March/April 2025
In 2017, my husband, Jack, and I started thinking about buying an RV. We had no idea how to proceed. In searching YouTube, we landed upon Trish and Marc’s “Keep Your Daydream” channel. We watched two to three hours of KYD every night for weeks until we determined our priorities.
We went to an RV show nearby and found a style we liked. We did a lot of figuring and exploring more websites, investigating how to drive, how to set up, how to repair, and when to call in professionals. We watched more YouTube videos, but we always came back to KYD. They were our inspiration. They made it so genuine, so doable, that we got hooked!
Jack had always wanted to sail around the world. I was no sailor, so we chose to circumnavigate the national parks and a lot of places in between! He found an internet ad for a 42-foot Class A Winnebago Tour motorhome, and within six weeks, he had negotiated a sale price on this new coach.
Jack in the Sogomonians’ motorhome.
We chose a retirement date! We sold our 3,800-square-foot home of 13 years to an excited young couple, passing along full cabinets and rooms of furniture to them, while we moved into a motorhome, approximately 400 square feet. We became masters of space utilization!
All this occurred in the early stages of the worldwide pandemic. We carefully practiced sheltering in place as we moved slowly from one RV park to another. Although it was difficult to meet people under these circumstances, we formed some amazing friendships with other RVers.
As we gained confidence and solved our coach’s issues, we ventured farther from home. We loved the RV life! We made a lot of short videos and took hundreds of photos documenting our adventures on Facebook for our friends.
At the 2.5-year milestone, we found ourselves in Florida. We had reservations for the Keys and the Everglades. We planned to trek up the west coast of Florida, then head up the Eastern Seaboard, visiting friends and relatives until joining friends in eastern Canada by July.
We had lots of plans. We had only just scratched the surface of the national parks. Then tragedy struck! This was not in the plans.
SOMETHING ISN’T RIGHT
After pulling into a crowded RV park in Key Largo, Jack was sweating profusely. He parked the coach, turned on the air conditioner, and lay down. I busied myself with connecting the power; tried to set up the water hookup; and didn’t bother with the sewer. I checked on him every few minutes. Still, he was not feeling too good, but he was sitting up, saying he felt somewhat better. I made a light dinner.
A little later, he didn’t want to eat. He just sat there with his head in his hands. I Googled to find the nearest emergency room, and he agreed to go. Twenty minutes later, he told the intake staff he had pressure in his chest! If I had known that I would have taken him in MUCH sooner. They diagnosed a “mild” heart attack. At 2:00 a.m. they airlifted him to a hospital in Miami. That was the last time I saw him. We had agreed that it would be safer for me to drive up in the morning, not on the unfamiliar two-lane roads in the swamp in the pitch black of night.
IMPOSSIBLE!
Nonononono! The voice on the phone told me Jack had coded, and they could not save him. Terror overtook my body and my mind! This was unthinkable! He always took good care of himself. He ate well and not too much, drank sensibly, did every task with safety, he exercised, and he LOVED me and took good care of my every wish and need. We had plans!
Here I was among strangers, in a place I had never been before, and he was 1.5 hours away.
The camp host let me fall into her arms. I couldn’t breathe. She summoned the camp nurse. Slowly, she understood my hysterical ramblings and spoke to the doctor and nurse at the hospital in Miami. She assured them that she would bring me to him. And them.
WHAT NOW?
The distance from Key Largo to my home in California is 2,961 miles. I could not think straight. I could not even imagine what to do. The camp host called our friends in St. Petersburg, and they came straight away. Next, she called my children, who booked flights from the West Coast.
Things took a sharp positive turn when I pointed to the FMCA membership plate in our motorhome window, upon which I had a sticker with the FMCA emergency medical and travel assistance phone number. My adult children contacted the provider, and things started rolling. This FREE benefit is included with FMCA annual membership. It covers transport of your RV home; transport of your towed car home; transport of the surviving spouse home; all mortuary costs (cremation if desired); and transport of the remains home.
The medical emergency and travel assistance team members each spoke with compassion. They knew what was needed and immediately began reaching out to resources. They specified the documents needed from us, from the hospital, from the doctor, and from the transport companies. They coordinated with the insurance company to deliver results as quickly as possible.
Each completed task drew me closer to home, but it still took two weeks to get me out of there. Admittedly, I wanted to be there when the transport driver took away the coach. I was home for two days, and the coach arrived. The car arrived two days later.
MOVING FORWARD
It has been some time since Jack’s passing in 2022. I found support with the Solo/Women RVers Facebook group, and valuable resources at Soaring Spirits. My life continued to evolve; my future was uncertain. We hosted a beautiful tribute to Jack. Friends continued to call, but the days were still long and lonely. I stayed busy with projects that got me outside and physically active. I had little appetite and lost 19 pounds. My hair started falling out more than normal. I attended one-on-one grief counseling as available. I took RV driving lessons and successfully completed a 125-mile journey afterward. Family in Oregon built an RV pad with hookups for me.
Significant issues I dealt with were not limited to adjusting to grief and widowhood. I needed to develop confidence and practice leaving, landing, and driving the motorhome. I had to deal with finances. I asked myself: Who am I? What am I? Where am I going? I had questions about travel — where to go from here? Did I want to work? Health, men, sex, and safety! The list of issues was long.
In January 2023, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was treated and released after a bilateral radical mastectomy at the end of June 2023. I missed the Perry, Georgia, convention due to my treatment. The Winnebago and I left our winter site in Florida finally, thanks to many friends in the Fam Camp at MacDill Air Force Base, Tampa.
I ordered a full-sized mannequin, dressed him in Jack’s clothing, and put him in the passenger seat. I followed my friends Mike and Jane for months. We went to their family reunions and friends’ homes and attended the FMCA convention in Lincoln, Nebraska. Eventually, we went separate ways, and I returned to California.
AN UNEXPECTED CONNECTION
A fellow FMCA member introduced Cynthia to Lyle Phillips, a recently widowed gentleman, at the FMCA convention in Gillette, Wyoming.
Back on the road again, I gained lots of experience, miles, and great adventures, and I went to the FMCA convention in Gillette, Wyoming. An FMCA member, Jan Grabe, introduced me to a handsome, recently widowed gentleman. Neither of us expected to find comfort in one another, and we agreed to meet again in October in California. Lyle came to help me drive back across the country for wintering again at MacDill Air Force Base in Florida. Since then, we have built a life together, meeting each other’s family and friends.
I put my motorhome and towed car up for sale. Lyle and I traveled in his Class B Roadtrek to the Blue Ridge Parkway, West Virginia, New York, Vermont, Maine, and Nova Scotia. Then we traveled west and enjoyed visits with my family in Oregon and California. Now home in Georgia, I had a total knee replacement this past November and am well cared for with love.
Grief still visits each of us at times. We have learned this is a normal part of life and will always be with us.
Advice for Other RVers
Here are some suggestions I have for my fellow travelers based on this experience:
- Cross-train on RV driving, setup, and take down. Keep a landing and leaving checklist you cover every time.
- Join FMCA. Other organizations charge extra for this type of assistance.
- Talk about “What if…” You think it will never happen to you, but it did to me! I didn’t want this, but without the FMCA benefit, it would have been monumentally difficult and expensive!
- Keep a cash account of at least $5,000 with easy access by either spouse.
- Carry at least a minimum life insurance policy.
- Put your affairs in order; update your will; place your possessions in a legal trust.
- Make sure your properties are in both names.
- Have credit cards in both names.
- Have a password keeper. Give the username and password to a trusted family member or to your attorney so that all accounts can be checked and cleared.
- Always let family members know where you are. Use RV Trip Wizard or something similar and take a screenshot and send revisions to the family when your plans change.
- Live, love, travel with care, and make a world of memories, because that may be all you take with you.
Note: This FMCA program (now called Medical & Travel Assist; fmca.com/medical-and-travel-assist) also covers you in an illness or accident. It is not limited to fatal situations, but this is my story.